This Single girl
This Single Mom
She is tired, she sees the world as a list of tasks, errands, jobs that she has to do.
This girl at times feels like she is failing at almost every part of her life. Whether it be motherhood because her child wont sleep in his own bed or whether it be failing to make a relationship work or whether it be handling the juggle that is working full time/entrepreneur/single mom who suffers from anxiety and depression.
They tell you it isn’t easy, they even tell you things will change but to be honest no one told me to the magnitude that it would take to wear every single hat made to man at the same time.
It times like this I wonder if I’m enough, if I’m doing enough. Am I doing my best? Should I keep trying?
Do I even keep looking for the balance?
Should I give up?
Should I throw in the towel and let it all go?
I won’t lie to you and tell you thoughts do sneak in from time to time.
I am mentally, physically drained at times and I don’t even know how I even manage it this far.
Everyone takes a piece, everything takes its energy from me. There are times when my cup is at empty and I look around wondering where do I even go to fill it back up. I will never be the burden to anyone. I won’t let myself ever get there.
But I no longer feel like I can manage and at times I don’t want to.
I wonder if I’m alone, feeling like this and I wonder if someone can see how I’m feeling through my eyes, through my tone of voice so I quickly mask it only showing that side to those I trust wont judge me and ridicule me for feeling this way.
Every day comes with a different set of tasks, list, jobs, errands and guess what all I want to do sometimes is cry in my bed and sleep that day away.
It’s not every day but today is one of those days for me and all I got is one day at a time, one thing at a time.
Like I always say: NO RISK NO STORY” Guess I’ll keep on pushing.